Search results matching tags 'Community' and 'Encouragement'

What Matters Most

andyleonard — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 12:00:00 GMT

The end of the year is a study in extremes. For many, it is a time of merriment and celebration. For some, it is yet another day to survive.

I believe most people reflect on the past year as it draws to a close. We think about the things that happened over the year: the accomplishments of ourselves and others; goals set and met; goals not met; gain; losses; and the inevitable change that happens to us all every year. It’s likely this year has been a mixed bag for you as it has been for me. There have been high highs and low lows.

Examples? Wow, there are many. Some subtle, some not. In roughly chronological order:

Watching SQLPeople grow
Starting Andy Leonard Training, Inc.
Writing SSIS Design Patterns and the SSIS Stairway series at SQLServerCentral.com
Speaking at Connections, several SQL Saturdays, the PASS Summit, and SQLBits

Do these things matter? Sure. But do they matter most? Not by a long shot. Here are some examples of things that happened in 2011 that matter most:

Celebrating another year married to Christy
The birth of my latest grandchild, Gabriel
Stevie Ray’s appendectomy
Riley starting school
Meeting with fellow believers at the PASS Summit for PASS Prayers
Meeting regularly with a small group of committed Christians to study the Bible
Participating in SQL Server MVP Deep Dives, Volume 2
Starting Linchpin People with my friend and brother, Brian Moran

Can you spot the difference? What matters most involves people. Most of these events were incredibly positive – awesome, in fact. Some were and are great but are continuing to mature. I still cannot bring myself to think for long about Stevie’s appendectomy; the harsh realities of that situation still chill my soul.

High highs and low lows.

As the year has progressed, I have become more and more aware of how truly blessed I am. I deserve none of it, and yet much is given to me. A bunch of it comes my way as a winner of the Birth-Nation Lottery. We have so much in America. As I read recently on a friend’s blog, many of America’s poor post on Facebook or Twitter about their needs and concerns from their iPhones. Destitution exists in America, but this isn’t it. This isn’t the poverty others experienced as children. The fact that most of America’s poor are among the richest in the world is a thing of mixed emotions. I hurt to see anyone in poverty – in America or elsewhere – and this pain is motivating.

Motivating For What?

I believe I can do better and more to help. The faith I share with millions compels me to do more. So I am doing and will do more. My watchword for 2012 is “intentional”. Plans are already underway to intentionally work to reduce the poverty of those in the United States, Europe, and elsewhere. I don’t know how many of these actions will make it to the annals of this blog. I am certain some of these activities will appear here, though they will likely not be advertised in the category of “reducing poverty”. I will have no such category on this blog. Or any blog.

I have endeavored my entire career to give back. This will continue, though with a bit more focus, planning, and (yes) intent.

I am truly blessed to have a business partner who shares faith, philosophy, and a desire to implement positive change in the workplace. Brian has taught me much technically, but he has taught me much more about endurance and faith. I am honored to work with him. We are endeavoring to create a different kind of business; one that enables what Tom Nelson calls “human flourishing” in Work Matters. That sounds lofty, mostly because it is. The Linchpin People website went live earlier this month even though we’ve been in business since April. We are architecting Linchpin People to be different, and different takes time. We are building a culture by defining a philosophy. Beyond that, we are cognizant of the movements around us. We are leveraging them at a minimum; we may be starting a movement – time will tell. I would love to share an optimistic story with you, but the starkness of our beliefs compel us to face the reality: this may succeed or this may fail. Only time will tell.

That’s not all. But that’s all I want to share here and now.

Be Intentional

I want to encourage anyone so inclined to be intentional in 2012. I lack the words to adequately express how it feels to know something you did made a difference in someone’s life. Suffice it to say it is unlike any other positive feeling I have experienced.

Help someone less fortunate. Be there for people who need you. This isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds, as sometimes tough love is what they need most.

We are a community of brilliant problem-solvers. Can you imagine what we can accomplish if we simply put our minds and hearts and hands to it? Just think of the things we can do; things for people; things that matter most.

Andy

Holiday Stress

andyleonard — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:00:00 GMT

Photo by Brian J. Matis

Ever have one of these days? I have. According to studies like this one, I am not alone.

This is a time of year when vacations loom right alongside project deadlines. There are parties to attend, additional expenses and work around the house, decisions about what to do for whom, and more. If you celebrate by decorating a house, tree, or lawn with lights; you may find yourself fighting them like the young lady pictured here! Stress at work, stress at home – stress everywhere!

I don’t know about you, but I always feel better when I know I’m not the only person to face something like stress. I’m not happy to learn others have experienced my pain. But I take some small comfort in realizing that it’s not unique to me. I wrote about a stress-filled and dark period in my life in a post entitled Hang In There. The depths of my depression struck during the holidays that year. I didn’t suffer like some have or do, but it was nonetheless a rough patch (for me).

Mayo Clinic has some helpful tips for dealing with holiday stress and depression. I encourage you to read the full article, but the main points are:

Acknowledge your feelings.
Reach out.
Be realistic.
Set aside differences.
Stick to a budget.
Plan ahead.
Learn to say no.
Don't abandon healthy habits.
Take a breather.
Seek professional help if you need it.

Reading the fourth bullet reminds me of a conversation I had with Brent Ozar (Blog | @BrentO | SQLPeople). Brent said “Bitterness is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person gets sick.” That is very true.

Forgiveness is Hard

But that is no excuse for not forgiving.

The concept of forgiving is often confused with other stuff. It may help some distinguish forgiveness from other stuff.

Forgiveness doesn’t imply agreement. It doesn’t mean you believe the other person was right and / or that you were wrong.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse offense. Forgiveness does not justify the offense or sweep things under a rug.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. “Forgive and forget” is a popular and impossible saying.
Forgiveness doesn’t change the other person. It changes the only person that you control: you.

So what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is letting go of resentment.
Forgiveness is a choice. It is a decision to actively not allow the past actions of another to impede, infect, or affect the present or future.
Forgiveness is understanding. It’s part of a realization that we all offend at some time or another.
Forgiveness is not allowing someone else to live rent-free in your head.
Forgiveness is freeing. This statement makes more sense once you have forgiven someone. Trust me.

In the Bible, Paul reminds believers we should forgive others because the Lord forgave us (Colossians 3:13). Jesus, in the Lord’s Prayer, teaches believers to pray for forgiveness of our own “debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Forgiveness is recognized as healthy apart from the spiritual considerations. Again, Mayo Clinic has a good article on the benefits of forgiveness. Reduced stress is a major health consideration, as stress leads to a plethora of health issues.

“No”

Saying “no” is also difficult. After all, what if we offend someone? I don’t want to offend anyone either. Raised in the South, I was taught to be polite. That means not offending people. Granted, we southerners have ways of politely expressing our disaffection (“Bless your heart”). Which would you rather have happen? Over-commit and not deliver? If the idea is that good, share the opportunity, take a reduced role – there are options! But if there are no options, saying “no” is the right thing to do.

Be honest with people. They may not want to hear what you have to say. That doesn’t make saying what they want to hear more honest. And it doesn’t make it noble, despite any emotions to the contrary.

Again, difficult is not an excuse.

Stay Healthy

This one hits home for me. It is one of the reasons two of my daughters and I signed up to run the Farmville YMCA Holiday Classic 5K. Yep, my first 5K. My goal? Have fun with my girls! My second goal? Finish. I don’t know if I’ll be able to achieve either, but those are the goals. The last goal? Run the entire distance.

Enough about me! We are fast approaching the time of year where folks make resolutions. I don’t like resolutions, so here’s what I suggest: Start tomorrow. It’s the first of the month, just not the first month. Plus, if you join a gym or Y, they are notoriously empty in December. You can get going in relative obscurity! Learn your way around. Try out the equipment. Try out stuff you don’t know how to use. Connect with a trainer, enlist in a program. Get a jump start on everyone waiting for resolutions to get started! You can be a month ahead come 1 Jan 2012.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is but one way to alleviate stress from your holidays – and life. It is not the only way, but it is a good start. Saying “no” can help you distinguish between the important and the merely urgent. Remember to take care of yourself! People love you and want you around.

I hope you have a stress-free, peaceful, and awesome holiday season!

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