There once was in Dublin a query

A query had users appalled

So the DBA they all called

At once he knew why

Thus the DBA did cry

"Elementary, IO has stalled"

There once was a mean DBA

Who, to all requests, said, "No way!"

Till a developer with a gun,

Said, "This request shall be done!"

And the response was a reluctant, "okay."

I like Paul's the best. :-) And Aaron, I never knew you had such a violent streak in you.

Kalen, are you calling me a developer???  :-)

But "Kalen" and "explainin'" don't even rhyme!!! :)

Here is my so called attempt

A current_user existed was who didn't think

All he did to the LOG files was SHRINK

Till a DBA came and slapped him across

This showed him who truly was the boss

Now his database fragmentation doesn't stink

Arrghhhhh, I made a type, this line

A current_user existed was who didn't think

should be

A current_user existed who didn't think

So the whole thing should be

------------------------------------------------

A current_user existed who didn't think

All he did to the LOG files was SHRINK

Till a DBA came and slapped him across

This showed him who truly was the boss

Now his database fragmentation doesn't stink

Aaron... if the shoe fits?

For limericks, I much prefer a slight stretch to the rhyme than to have a completely messed up meter. Denis just has too many syllables.. some of the other also have one or two extra syllables, but not quite a bad.

Well, FWIW, I was attempting to portray myself as the victim in that limerick, not the developer with a weapon.  :-)

Looks like what I created is an anti-limerick

note to self...research rules for things before you attempt to do it

LOL Denis, and Kalen of course you like Paul's because yer the hero :)

Here goes:

This DBA has been called a curmudgeon

Developers he often whould bludgen

Perhaps with his hat

Or maybe a bat

For their code his database it did sludgen

Hey Dennis, can you do one in Croatian?

James here it is in Croatian. It is very similar to the English one I did before. The problem with a language like Croatian is that it is a phonetic language so you don't have as many choices like in English where many words spelled differently sound the same

The Croatian alphabet also has the following letters Ć,Č,Dž,Đ,Š,Ž, I didn't use those here. There are also many dialects in Croatia so some people might spell some of these words differently.

korisnik koj je bio prosto

je smanjio log fail 90 posto

dok ga nije lupnuo upravitelj

I pokazao tko je stvarno voditelj

sad mu je fragmentacija nula posto

Love it!

A query that seemed kind of sickly,

Fixed it's own problem quite slickly,

By learning to ban,

A full table scan,

It returned it's data quite quickly.

-----

A DBA out for the kicks,

Would take the developers' picks,

for slow-running queries,

he takes them in series,

And change all the joins to EXISTS.

--

An enthusiast going by "Joe",

Took pleasure in starting a row,

He'd quote Edgar F Codd,

As if he were G-d,

And create many a foe,

a jokester posts this on usenet

thinking "someone will try this I bet":

insert into dual

values('X'); what a tool

and several complaints did he get

K has a few: http://eight2late.wordpress.com/category/verse

With apologies to Java programmers (esp. those named Drew :-)), here's an Oracle-oriented one.

A Java developer named Drew,

complained that he hadn't a clue

why the queries he wrote

would would often evoke

a mysterious ORA-00942.