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Paul Nielsen

www.SQLServerBible.com

What if Politicians sold SQL Server?

My fellow countramen,

I stand on a platform of changechange tracking, change data capture, and all events audited.

I stand on a platform that’s scalable - with filtered indexes, reducing the taxing burden of IO with data compression and better utilization of partitioned tables.

As a federalist, I stand for distributed partitioned views.

And I challenge the countra to move past our previous scalar limitations.

I stand for SQL Server 2008.

My name is Paul Nielsen and I approved this message.

now, add your own DBA political rhetoric, and remember this is all in good fun.

 

Published Tuesday, March 25, 2008 7:39 PM by Paul Nielsen
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Comments

 

andyleonard said:

LOL - You have my vote!

:{> Andy

March 26, 2008 7:25 AM
 

Tim Mitchell said:

... and later, after the scandal:

"I did not have data relations with that database."

March 28, 2008 11:21 AM
 

roman said:

We are especially excited about the endless possibilities of utilizing the spatial data type. It will be very instrumental in helping us locate Osama bin Laden, as well as finally allow us to locate weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

March 28, 2008 1:51 PM
 

Alan Horsman said:

...I did not have Select-ual relations with that database!

:)

March 29, 2008 9:35 PM

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About Paul Nielsen

Paul Nielsen believes SQL is the romance language of data. As such he’s a hands-on database developer, Microsoft SQL Server MVP, trainer, and author of SQL Server Bible series (Wiley). As a data architect, he developed the concepts of Smart Database Design and Nordic – an open source O/R dbms for SQL Server. He lives in Colorado Springs.

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