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Jamie Thomson

This is the blog of Jamie Thomson, a data mangler in London working for Dunnhumby

A fool leaves their computer unlocked. What to do next?

A light hearted post for a Friday…

A couple of days ago on Twitter I asked…


The replies flew in thick and fast, there are some fairly vindictive people out there in the Twitter community let me tell you so i thought it’d be fun to show you a sample! Let’s go with a couple of harmless non-evasive suggestions first from Jens Vestergaard and Randi Borys:



The screenshot one I particularly like. Those two are pretty tame though, if you want to get really nasty then try this suggestion from Brent Ozar:


Oh my word! In true “embrace and extend” style though Brent and Rob Farley built upon the idea:



Nasty!!! Mr Farley upped the cruelty ante though with his next suggestion which I think might be my favourite:


Do that to a green SQL developer and soon they’ll be thinking they’re in the seventh circle of Microsoft-tool-hell! Not to be out-done Brent replied with the ever popular:


I can think of a few variations on that theme – the hosts file might be one thing you might want to target.

Want to really make someone really angry? Kenneth Nielson has a suggestion:


If humiliation tactics are your bag Andy P has one for you:


And for the time-poor amongst you Koen Verbeeck offers:


Lastly if pure criminality is your bag, as it clearly is for Rowena Parsons, simply:


Check all of the suggestions here: and if you have any suggestions of your own please stick them in the comments below!


Published Friday, August 16, 2013 10:24 AM by jamiet

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Rob said:


turns on high contrast accessibility mode. Nice and quick.

on dual monitors alter screen orientation by 90 degrees on each monitor in the opposite direction and watch them try to move the mouse.

August 16, 2013 4:50 AM

Rob said:

Use PowerShell to alter all favourites to point to google or an inappropriate site:-)

August 16, 2013 4:52 AM

Eric said:

Leave it as it is as thieves will bypass you and go for the soft target

August 16, 2013 4:58 AM

Gavin said:

Courtesy of @GSElevator:

"change the signature on his Email settings.  Using white font, add any variety of obscene words.  No one will see it… except for IT and HR"

August 16, 2013 8:24 AM

Danny said:

Change his default font to comic sans

August 16, 2013 8:39 AM

Wes Crockett said:

If you aren't a domain admin, make yourself a local admin of the machine and install PSEXEC on your machine...

In our team, we have a little prank where we change each others backgrounds to embarrassing things. I have also written a script... compiled it.. .named it chrome.exe and replaced my co-workers chrome.exe... every time he launched the browser, it locked his PC.

August 16, 2013 9:50 AM

James Snape said:

August 16, 2013 10:38 AM

John Stevens-Taylor said:

I've always been a fan of using an image of a BSD and setting it as the only image on his screen saver.

August 19, 2013 7:03 AM

Shane said:

Standard practice at my last employer was to use their email to send a message to all their colleagues that they will be buying the cakes in the morning.

August 19, 2013 8:13 AM

Andy said:

At the last place I worked at, if you left your machine unlocked you'd return to find you'd been Hoffed.  That is, a random picture of David Hasslehoff, normally wearing little else but a lot of chest hair and some tight underwear, replacing your desktop wallpaper.

August 30, 2013 11:01 AM

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