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Arnie Rowland

Discussion of issues related to SQL Server, the MSDN SQL Support Forums, the complex interplay between Developers and SQL Server Administrators, and our sometimes futile attempts to have a 'normal' life.

Rules of Holes #6: Don't Draw Others Into the Hole with You

In the Fifth Rules of Holes, you were encouraged to seek help from others in order to extricate youself from the Hole. And it should have been clear in that Rule that you want to seek out those that can actually help you. Not everyone, or just anyone, will be able to help you get out of a Hole. Hopefully, you have a mentor, or will take the opportunity to enlist a mentor. Just be selective.

Being selective will help you with Rules of Holes #5: Drawing more people into the Hole with you is not likely to get you out.

You need someone that knows how to keep from being sucked into the Hole with you. From experience, or training, or good fortune, the ideal candidate will have learned how to avoid and even escape a Hole. You need THAT person to help you get out. That person will be better equiped to help you without getting sucked in themselves. Drawing inexperienced others into the Hole with you most likely will not serve to get you out, it only makes the Hole more crowded and confusing. Of course, there are those that would draw others into the Hole just so they can clamor over their bodies in order to escape, leaving them behind. But often that is just committing career suicide. It might work once at the cost of leaving a lot of ill will, and a lot of folks hoping, or even working, to see you fail.

You need to be strong enough that you can gently rebuff those that would be pulled into the Hole with you, and would not be able to get out themselves. Folks are generally curious, they will want to look at your Hole, they may even want to experiment with escape techniques. But if they don't have proven escape and avoidance skills, they will just be in your way, making it more difficult for you to get out of the Hole. Additional baggage that you now have to look out for since drawing them in with you was your responsibility. You could have declined their offer to help, instead seeking out someone that could truly help you without getting pulled in by your plight.

In order to escape your Hole, seek help from those capable of assisting without becoming trapped themselves.

(I am in the process of compiling a more complete list of 'Rules of Holes', and in upcoming weeks, I'll share them with you. And if you have developed your own 'Rules of Holes', i invite you to share them with us.)

Published Tuesday, November 20, 2012 10:15 AM by ArnieRowland

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