To avoid deadlocks, one of the most common recommendations is "to acquire locks in the same order" or "access objects in the same order". Clearly this makes perfect sense, but is it always feasible? Is it always possible? I keep encountering cases when I cannot follow this advice.
If I store an object in one parent table and one or more child ones, I cannot follow this advice at all. When inserting, I need to insert my parent row first. When deleting, I have to do it in the opposite order.
If I use commands that touch multiple tables or multiple rows in one table, then usually I have no control in which order locks are acquired, (assuming that I am not using hints).
So, in many cases trying to acquire locks in the same order does not prevent all deadlocks. So, we need some kind of handling deadlocks anyway - we cannot assume that we can eliminate them all. Unless, of course, we serialize all access using Service Broker or sp_getapplock.