Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Matt Velic — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:37:16 GMT

Very nice advice. I'm going to review some of my session descriptions this weekend!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nikola — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:47:34 GMT

Just in time before submission deadline kicks in... Now I need to rewrite everything. Thanks.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:52:39 GMT

@Matt: Good luck :-)

@Nikola: Which event?

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nic Cain — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 16:44:43 GMT

Shred away:

Title: Why I Won't Be Hiring You

Description: You're a DBA or SQL Developer and you are looking for a new gig. You've trawled the job sites, found a position I am hiring for, and decided that it is the job for you. You spruce up your resume and send it in, hoping for the best. In this session I will go over some critical mistakes that will prevent you from getting a job, such as: Why your resume is an instant turn-off. That thing you said on the phone screen that was flat out wrong.Why the in-person interviewer took an immediate dislike to you

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 17:59:19 GMT

@Nic:

Woo hoo, our first contestant!

Stating with the obvious, the title is a bit jolting. I'm 100% positive you did that on purpose and already know it's jolting, and it gave me a very nice laugh just now when I read it. But if I were planning a conference I wouldn't accept it, and if I were looking for a job, I probably wouldn't attend. Why? Because it sounds like you're going to punch me in the face when I attend the session, and I don't like being punched in the face. (Stomach, sure. Face, no way!) Possible to ease it up a bit and still keep it humorous?

Description: I like the audience focus. The tone, again, needs a bit of tweaking. If I read "Why your resume is an instant turn-off," I am immediately on the defensive. I'm not even applying for a job, and literally, when I read that, my brain started saying "no it's not. Screw you, Nic." Possible to make these things positive rather than negative? "What to put on your resume so that you're virtually guaranteed a call back" is a lot more enticing, in my opinion. Flies, honey, vinegar, and all of that.

Not sure if you pasted incorrectly but the end seems to be truncated. Do you have a conclusion sentence?

--Adam

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nic Cain — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:10:30 GMT

There was a conclusion sentence, off-hand I cannot get a hold of it. The SQLSat site nicely truncated it (yay for character limits).

I appreciate the suggestions, I'll start work on a rewrite that changes it to a more positive thing.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mike Fal — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:26:06 GMT

I'm in for review! I've been tossing this about in my brain for several months, submitted it to a couple SQL Saturdays with a different abstract, but only given it once. I'm rewriting the abstract for upcoming events and a slight reworking of the approach.

Title: The Heirarchy of Database Needs: A Monitoring Methodology

Level: 200

Do you feel alone, afraid, and in the dark when it comes to the servers in your environment? If we want to know if our servers are healthy, where do we start? Considering that there are hundreds of metrics you can monitor in SQL Server, it's very easy to feel lost or overwhelmed. This session will review monitoring from a high level, providing a roadmap to attendees for ensuring the critical safety of their operations, planning a monitoring strategy from the ground up, and tools that are available for implementing their approach.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:42:38 GMT

@Mike:

I don't really "get" the title. At first I thought it was a talk about hierarchies :-) ... I wonder if you could make it a bit more obvious within the first few words? "Monitoring Methodologies and the Hierarchy of Database Needs" somehow sits better with me, even though I still don't know what a hierarchy of database needs is. But, I am very curious about it, so I'd read your abstract for sure.

On to the abstract: Again, I'd flip around that first sentence, same reason as above. "When it comes to the servers in your environment, do you ever feel ..." This makes people start thinking about their servers right away, and then puts their feelings on top. And that's where you want 'em to be. Good simple wording in the basic-level abstract, but I still don't know what a "hierarchy of database needs" is. Answer that, or at least reference it, and add a conclusion sentence to bring it home.

--Adam

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nancy Hidy Wilson — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:19:44 GMT

Good stuff, Adam! Should be required reading for all speakers submitting abstracts. Looking at the sessions already submitted for review, I'm thinking that you might have the beginnings of a new "service" to the community! Can't wait to read your hinted at post on the actual presentation development to match the submitted abstract.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic.

--Nancy

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mike Fal — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:26:58 GMT

Thanks Adam, I'll take those into consideration and tighten it up. The title is a side reference to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs. I can see how that's not clear, however, and can make that reference a little clearer.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nic Cain — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 21:41:27 GMT

Ok, here is an updated version of the "why I won't be hiring you"

Title: Hirable and Desirable - How To Make Companies Want You

Description: You are a SQL Server professional and you have decided that it is time to make the next step in your career. You find the position of your dreams and decide to go for it but are unsure where to start. In this session I'll talk about how to put the wow factor into your resume so you will get that first callback; how you can fly through the phone screen; and how you can land the job in the first 30 seconds of the in-person interview. Applying for new jobs is intimidating, let me give you some helpful tips to make it a little less scary.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 22:27:20 GMT

@Nancy: "service," eh? I'll do what I can, but I'm actually hoping some other people will jump in and help too. As for the other post, well, given that this one took me 10 months to write, please don't start holding your breath quite yet!

@Mike: Interesting, thanks for the link. I learned something new :-)

@Nic: Nice title change. Description, great upbeat tone. Now you sound like you're going to give me a backrub. But I'll pass. For now.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Nic Cain — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 22:34:27 GMT

Ok, I guess I will have to take a raincheck on that back rub then.

Thanks Adam.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

deniseashley — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 05:33:58 GMT

Just desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Edwin Sarmiento — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 16:33:10 GMT

Great post, Adam. I really liked the idea of crafting a great story with a positive beat in the abstract. I spend most of my preparation time crafting a story around my presentation, even if it is a highly technical, level 400 topic. As you mentioned, we are still humans and it will help a lot if we put our human side in our presentations. But I won't be able to do so unless my session abstract gets selected. Thanks for writing this. Now to apply these concepts as I write abstracts for the PASS Summit.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Maria Zakourdaev — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:15:13 GMT

WOW, great post, Adam! Especially liked "normal" people definition for people who have a life :-)

Oh, probably should have called some native writer to proof this comment...

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 01:04:03 GMT

@Nic: Next time we're alone...

@denise: Thanks :-)

@Edwin: Reuse the same story! Best of luck with PASS.

@Maria: Thanks, and you generally don't need the native writer -- you're quite proficient in English. But it never hurts to get a second check done.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Ramdas — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:21:08 GMT

Excellent article Adam, the level of detail is amazing. One of the things i have noticed is how short emails are these days lacking the detail, if one took some time to craft the emails we would have less chaos.

Thank you

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Fabricio Catae — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 02:26:59 GMT

Very nice article!!! It's amazing and (incredibly) non-technical.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Hakim Ali — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:49:20 GMT

Please critique:

Level 200

TITLE

T-SQL Throwdown: Is Your Team Ready to Take On Other Teams in a Game of SQL?

ABSTRACT

Join us in a game of SQL where you will compete with other SQL gals and guys, enjoy making new friends, possibly learn some new SQL tricks, and have tons of fun. Create your team for a SQL-off against other teams. The quickest teams to solve 5 timed SQL challenges win bragging rights (at least until next year).

If you can write a SQL query, you have the skills required to play. Each team will need to bring their own laptop with SQL Server 2012 Express Edition (which is free, by the way) pre-installed. Full rules here (link to blog).

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Ekrem Önsoy — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 14:56:45 GMT

Thanks for your post Adam. Actually the way you speak in this article reminded me the judges in AGT, especially Howard =) Thanks again!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 19:59:21 GMT

@Ramdas / @Fabricio: Thank you for reading!

@Ekrem: Not sure I want to be the Howard Stern of SQL... well, I guess it would have some benefits. I'll consider it :-)

@Hakim: It's an interesting idea as an event at a show, but I can't imagine a conference accepting it as a third-party session. If you'd like to do something like that, you should really write privately to the event organizers and offer to work with them on creating it and defining the correct marketing/messaging to attract the attendees of the event. I also think you'll have to get some sponsors for prizes, and somehow make it interesting/interactive enough that non-competitors will want to show up and watch.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Melissa Coates — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:44:38 GMT

Hi Adam - Thank you for so much thought-out detail. I'll play...!

Title: So You Want To Be A Rockstar Report Developer?

Desc: Why settle for being an average Report Developer? In this highly interactive session we'll discuss various development, standardization, deployment, and documentation practices that'll make your SSRS development life easier, your output of higher quality, increase maintainability, and ultimately save you time. Audience participation and sharing of experiences is highly encouraged. Who knows, perhaps even a friendly debate over best practices shall ensue! This session focuses primarily on SQL Server Reporting Services 2012, although some concepts may apply to other BI tools as well. Previous exposure to Reporting Services is helpful.

Level: 100/200

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Boris Hristov — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:52:03 GMT

Adam, this post just became a must read and was saved in my favourite list already! I hope that many, no, not many - all speakers out there will realise that they are selling a product, as you said and are not "just presenting", because there is a lot of things that needs to be done before your presentation actually happens(especially true in large events, as you also pointed out!). Thanks again!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:53:28 GMT

@Melissa:

Let's start with level vs title vs what is a "rockstar?" For me--and maybe it's just me--"rockstar" means advanced. A go-to guy or gal. Someone I can hand a project to, step away, and it'll get done. Is that a level 100 person? I don't think so. I think it's a level 400 person. And when I read your title, that's who I think it's for. So I'm going to ask you: who are you *really* targeting here? Are you targeting someone just getting started (that's level 100/200 for you) or someone who has some experience already and wants to get to the next level?

Let's continue on to the abstract. Assuming that you want to actually target the person who already has some experience, your intro sentence is great. But your conclusion sentence is now incredibly confusing. Don't be wishy-washy. Choose a target audience and laser focus on that target audience.

Other random things:

- I like the second sentence, but as an aside I'm not a huge fan of the "that'll" contraction. It reads a bit awkwardly in my opinion.

- Audience participation, great. But don't count on it. Some audiences are more subdued than others. I'd merge the two sentences on that, or maybe get rid of the one about debates altogether. It doesn't really drive home the desire to attend.

- I think a bit more detail might be nice. After that second sentence, how about a third, listing some of the actual terms used in SSRS, around areas you'll be covering? (Because, let's admit it, this is a 300-level talk, isn't it?)

- Kill the current final sentence and add a proper conclusion. Make people thirst for your content!

@Boris: Awesome--really glad you enjoyed it!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Fatherjack — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 17:07:05 GMT

Hi Adam,

Here are the details of my latest session - do your worst/best ...

Title- Tracking server activity without slowing it down.

Level - 100/200 (ie its an intro to the tech in question)

Abstract:

All SQL Server DBAs should know how Service Broker and Event Notifications work so that they can implement this very simple feature to make sure they are aware of events happening on their servers. Event Notifications is a very light-weight, asynchronous mechanism for identifying events and taking actions. In this session we will create sessions to monitor for and act on DDL changes, file size changes, index and statistics changes, security changes and more. Attendees will gain an understanding of how they can monitor many servers and stay in control.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Melissa Coates — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 17:29:56 GMT

Adam,

Excellent points. You inferred an issue I debated on. I had been planning to make it for intermediates looking to go to the next level but a friend reviewed it & suggested I bring it down to basics. So I ended up wishy-washy. I will fix that.

Audience participation - I'm actually delivering it the first time next weekend at SQLSat. Am planning for talkers & quiet people since I don't know what my audience will be and if I can set them at ease enough to speak freely. We shall see how my little experiment works. My goal is to talk less "at" the audience and more "with" them, but I'm still learning how to make that happen.

Thanks again for taking the time - much appreciated!

Melissa

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 17:33:03 GMT

@Fatherjack:

Title:

- Not properly cased or punctuated. (See the note on Title Case in the article.)

- Tells me what the session is going to be about, but it's a bit dull. It's easy to add some personality. For example, "Tracking Activity Without Slowing the Server to a Crawl" says the same thing but uses slightly more active phrasing.

- Are you sure this is a level 100 topic? If someone is already tracking server activity such that they need to worry about not slowing things down, don't they already know about tracking activity to some degree? What's your ACTUAL target audience?

Abstract:

- First sentence: Whoa! Slow it waaayyy down. I'm four words in and I'm already somewhat turned off; you've not introduced a problem or given me a reason to read, and you're telling me about something I should know. The sentence also runs on (I think it's at least two sentences). Finally, it's important to watch out for plural agreement and similar grammar issues: "DBAs should know how Service Broker and Event Notifications work so that they can implement *this*." This what? You've listed two different things.

- Second sentence, okay. Now you've introduced a topic from the first sentence. Ideally you'd introduce first and then use the term.

- Third sentence, you've used "the royal we." I am not a fan, because "we" aren't going to create anything. "Fatherjack," the speaker, is going to do the creating. "You," the reader of the abstract, should be doing some learning. So tell readers what they're going to learn, not what you're going to do, and especially not what they're not going to do.

- Fourth sentence: That's almost a problem statement; why didn't you tell me that upfront?

Overall: I think it would be in your best interest to reevaluate this session description, putting yourself into an attendee's mind. "Why might I be interested in attending? What problem can Fatherjack help me solve? What technologies will he propose to help me solve my problem?" In about that order. And keep your tone active, active, active. This is about doing something, making a difference, having an impact.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Fatherjack — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:45:44 GMT

Thanks for the comments Adam.

I have taken a look at your comments and have made some changes. If you have a moment maybe you could let me know if you think it's improved at all please?

Title- Tracking Server Activity But Keeping High Performance

Level - 200

Abstract:

Do you want to know when tables or indexes are changed on your server? Maybe you need to audit system changes? Possibly you like the idea of knowing what code will need re-factoring before you upgrade?

Event Notifications is a very light-weight, asynchronous mechanism for identifying SQL Server events and taking actions. Getting Service Broker and Event Notifications working for you will mean you can track changes and spot performance problems easily. In this session I'll show you how to create sessions to monitor for, and act on, DDL changes, file size changes, index and statistics changes, security changes and more. You will gain an understanding of how you can monitor many servers and stay in control with minimum effort but maximum effect.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 21:10:45 GMT

@Fatherjack:

Nice changes!

Title: I might change "But Keeping" to "While Ensuring." But YMMV.

Abstract:

- I like the intro a lot

- First sentence after the intro, great. Sparks my interest.

- Second sentence, a bit iffy. You've now introduced Service Broker but it's not immediately clear why. I'd personally not use it at all in the abstract, as it's not especially important to the prospective attendee that Event Notifications happens to use SSB as its platform.

- "will mean you can" would be better phrased as "will enable you to"

- The final sentence is okay but that "minimum effort but maximum effect" part might need a bit of tweaking. Took me a couple of reads through to fully grok it.

--Adam

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Fatherjack — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 11:11:54 GMT

Thanks for the 2nd review Adam, glad I made it better.

One thing to note (as I just went to update the submission for SQL Sat Holland), the title is too long for the SQL Saturday website! You'll need to add that session titles should be no more than 50 chars long in your advice!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

KKline — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:32:27 GMT

Excellent article, Adam. Really good, actionable advice. I'm going to ask SQL Saturday to put this on their speaker submission page.

Otoh, now I selfishly want to request that you do a special 500-level version of this article entitled "Capturing Microsoft's Attention: Writing Session Descriptions Specifically for TechEd". You're one of the few speakers I know among the top tier who can consistently get into TechEd.

Great work! Cheers,

-Kev

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mickey Stuewe (@sqlMickey) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 01:09:01 GMT

Tablix - The Rubik Cube of Reporting Services

Level 200 or 300. (i don't know which)

Did you know that the Table, Matrix, and List controls are all based on the highly flexible Tablix Data Region Grid? So really, they are all one control that can be morphed into each other.

Learn how to get the most out of the Tablix controls in this demo-heavy session. You'll learn how to best layout data using multiple Tablix controls. You'll learn how to use parameters to change the layout of the data in these controls to minimize the number of reports that need to be maintained. You'll learn to create a columnar report that grows vertically as well as horizontally, and you'll find out about other exciting uses of this highly flexible control.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:21:58 GMT

@Fatherjack: Looks like it's fixed now. At least mostly fixed.

@KKline: Thanks, would be awesome to have it linked from SQL Saturday! As for the 500-level version, we'll chat offline :-)

@Mickey:

Title: First of all, is your target audience expected to know what a "Tablix" is? If not, you have a problem right away, since most people won't bother reading up, especially after you tell them that the thing is a puzzle. People don't want ADDITIONAL puzzles to solve at work, in my experience. They already have enough :-) ... And by the way, it's a "Rubik's Cube" (apostrophe S).

Abstract: First sentence. No, I did not know that. But why do I care? What problem can this help me with? Start off right away and tell me what gaps you're going to fill. Don't tell me about some technical implementation. Remember, again, you are not your audience. Your audience is probably not a bunch of geeks who care that table and matrix is tablix. Your audience is probably some report developer who is behind on a deadline and is worried that he's not going to get a very good bonus come December because he's really screwing up at work. He wants a solution for his problems. He wants a way to do his job more efficiently. Can you help him, or are you going to send him home with a bunch of technical jargon that he's going to forget as soon as he drowns his sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Next part: Same. WHY do I want to get the most out of the controls? You only get to that "why" in the final sentence. (Flexible, vertical as well as horizontal scale.) Pull that stuff right to the start of the abstract. Don't leave me hanging. "Tablix: The Key to Flexible, Scalable SSRS Reports" ... "Want to create columner reports that scale vertically as well as horizontally? Want to quickly roll out ultra flexible reports that will wow your end users?"

Hope that helps.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mickey Stuewe (@sqlMickey) — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 07:20:53 GMT

Adam,

I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I'm probably geekier than my students, but i've met those "normal" people so i know they exist.

I did listen and I replaced Tablix with the three controls that are based on the tablix. Only the uber geeks care about the underlying template. Here is my revision:

Table, Matrix, and List Controls: The Keys to Flexible, Scalable SSRS Reports

Want to quickly roll out ultra flexible reports that will wow your end users? Want to learn how to display the data in multiple layouts on the same report? Want to minimize the number of reports that are similar to others?

In this demo-heavy session, you'll learn how to create a columnar report that grows vertically as well as horizontally? You'll learn how to have multiple layouts for the same data on the same report. You'll learn how to use parameters to change the layout of the data, as well as other exciting uses of these highly flexible controls.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Alexander Kuznetsov — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:06:23 GMT

Hi Adam,

This is a very useful write-up, of course, and most of this applies to technical writing as well, so this is interesting.

IMO books, articles, and blog posts have a bigger and longer impact - more people will read them, and for longer time. The book that you wrote and we bought in 2007 is still on our desks, and in use. Also you do not have to understand spoken English to understand a book.

Unfortunately, the time spent on speaking is time not spent on writing - and writing reaches out to people who do not understand spoken English and/or will not travel. So, if we concentrate on speaking, we fail to communicate with lots of people.

Having said all this, can you have a look at this draft:

Develop Rock Solid Databases 8 to 5, Go Home, Enjoy Life.

Level 400.

You are a database developer frustrated with too much troubleshooting and bugs fixing? You do not have much time left for new development, and your work-life balance is ruined? It can be helped!

You will learn how to use automated tests to streamline communication, eliminate bugs and deadlocks, and ensure predictable performance. You will also see how to deploy big changes in small incremental low-risk steps.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:32:51 GMT

@Mickey: I'm not sure you're selling me hard enough in the title. How about putting the key words first? "Flexible, Scalable SSRS Reports: Table, Matrix, and the All-Powerful Tablix" or something like that? The abstract is definitely improved but can use a bit more punch. Try reading it out load and adding emphasis where needed.

@Alex: I agree that writing can have a lot more impact than speaking. For example, this blog post has been read 3700 times or so as of right now; no way ANY of my talks has ever been watched that many times. But remember that there are different learning styles; some people learn better from books, and others learn better from spoken media, so you're targeting different audiences with various content. And for me personally, speaking is a lot more fun than writing -- which is why I do it a lot more often. YMMV :-)

Now as for your session...

Title: I REALLY like where you're going with this but I find it a bit choppy. I had to exert a bit of effort while reading it to get what you meant. I wonder if the numbers are hurting it? It might be better to say something like: "Developing Rock Solid Databases and Reclaiming Your Life" ... that's not perfect, but just trying to think of alternate ways to say the same thing minus the numbers and commas. (Also, the period should not be there in a title.)

Abstract: The first sentence is too passively worded (and it's a bit awkward). Maybe just pull off a bunch of words? Here's an example: "Spending too much time troubleshooting? Losing entire weekends fixing bugs? Sick of not developing anything new -- let alone having a proper social life? It doesn't have to be that way..."

Second part: First sentence is incomplete. Should say "In this session you will learn..." or similar. Will the automated tests help with all three things? (Communication, elimination of bugs, predictable performance?) That's how it currently reads; if these are separate topics you need to rewords. I'd like to see some more detail on what, exactly, this talk is about, especially since it's 400 level. It all feels a bit vague. It might help to use a numbered structure. "First you'll learn about V and how it impacts W. Then you'll see why X solves Y. The talk will close with a discussion on Z..."

Also, I highly recommend adding a final sentence to bring things together. "After attending ..." maybe referencing work-life balance, getting the weekend back, or whatever.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Alexander Kuznetsov — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 20:05:39 GMT

Adam,

Thank you for a quick response.

Next revision:

"Developing Rock Solid Databases and Enjoying Your Life Uninterrupted by Troubleshooting"

Level: 400

Troubleshooting most of the time and tired of it? Spending your weekends fixing bugs? Sick of not developing anything new -- let alone having a proper social life? You can fix it!

In this session you will learn how to develop robust databases that need very little maintenance. First, you will see how automated tests eliminate miscommunications, dramatically reducing number of fixes. Next, I will show how automated tests enable to change databases with confidence, without introducing bugs, deadlocks, and performance problems. Finally, you will use this knowledge to refactor a large live OLTP table without any downtime for users or overtime for developers.

After attending this session, you will learn how to develop robust databases and enjoy excellent work-life balance.

--End--

Regarding 400 level: there is a lot of things to describe, so I would just mention things like "adding an index can slow down a select" or "adding an index can cause deadlocks" or "triggers do not ensure 100% integrity of data". Presumably that should be a known fact, there will be no time to elaborate on things like this. This is why I think the level is 400.

What do you think?

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 20:43:47 GMT

@Alex

I'd cut the words "by Troubleshooting" out of the title. They end it on a down note and make it significantly weaker. I might also cut the word "Your," so the title would become: "Developing Rock Solid Databases and Enjoying Life Uninterrupted"

That just sounds a lot slicker :-)

Abstract looks pretty good! Only comment is that I think you need to be careful with tense. "After attending this session, you will learn" <-- will you learn AFTER the session, or IN the session? Minor details. Read it out loud a few times and make sure it really flows.

--Adam

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Alexander Kuznetsov — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 00:46:18 GMT

Adam,

Thank you for the feedback.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Tom Norman — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 00:32:26 GMT

Adam, here is mine after reading your article which was great.

Unreliable Deployment: Consistent Database Release

During your day, you are pushing database code for a release to some database server in some environment, the deployment does not work. Where is the Golden code for the database objects, Production or Source Control? Get the database code for Source Control, deploy in object order with PowerShell. You will be able to deploy from Source Control to any database in any environment, consistently.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:35:20 GMT

@Tom: Glad you enjoyed the article!

You haven't told me who your target audience is, so I can't weigh my feedback against how applicable your session description is to that audience, but here's how I read things...

Starting with the title, I'm a bit confused. You're going to teach me how to create "Unreliable" deployments? I don't think that's what you meant. I think you meant to say "Reliable." Or were you trying to show that you'll help convert unreliable to consistent? Perhaps reframing it as "Converting Unreliable Deployments Into Consistent Releases" would be better?

For the abstract, a big issue is awkward phrasing and sentence fragments. "During your day, you are pushing database code for a release to some database server in some environment, the deployment does not work." This is both far too passive, and it feels like the final fragment has been tacked on; let's try rephrasing this in an active tone... "Have you ever felt like it takes an exorbitant amount of time to push out your database code releases? Copying file after file between environments and between servers... Isn't there a better way?"

The rest of the abstract needs similar work done. This, for example, feels like part of another sentence -- I don't understand how it fits in: "Get the database code for Source Control, deploy in object order with PowerShell."

The final sentence doesn't leave me with enough meat to make me excited. Tell me why I want to do use PowerShell and deploy. Tell me about time savings, better and more reliable deployments, how much easier my life will be ... something!

As I've told others here, read your abstracts out loud. If it doesn't flow, it's not going to read well either. And then read your abstract to someone who isn't a SQL Server professional. If that person can't grasp the key points, chances are good that your core audience won't, either.

--Adam

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mickey Stuewe (@SQLMickey) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 03:26:23 GMT

Hi Adam,

I used more action words. I hope you like my latest rendition. Thank you for helping out. :)

Flexible, Scalable SSRS Reports Achieved through the All-Powerful Tablix Controls

Want to quickly roll out ultra-flexible reports that will wow your end users? Want to learn how to display the data in multiple layouts on the same report? Want to consolidate similar reports while still providing flexibility to your end users? This can all be achieved by leveraging the three controls based on the Tablix template: Table, Matrix, and the List control.

In this demo-heavy session, you'll learn how to create a columnar report that grows vertically as well as horizontally? You'll learn how to have multiple layouts for the same data on the same report. And you'll learn how to increase the usefulness of fewer reports.

--Mickey

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 17:56:43 GMT

@Mickey:

Very nice! Just two small comments:

- Capitalize "through" in the title.

- Put in a conclusion sentence! I can't stress that enough. End on an up note. Don't just end.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Mickey Stuewe (@SQLMickey) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:13:36 GMT

Thanks Adam for all your help.

--Mickey

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

John Sterrett — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:10:30 GMT

Hi Adam,

If its not too late I would like to play.

Title Introduction to Performance Tuning the Database Engine

Level: 200 (Future SQL Saturday Pre-con)

Have you always wanted to dig into performance tuning but weren't sure where to start?

During this pre-con, you will establish a solid base that will allow you to identify and isolate problems within your SQL environment. You will learn how to identify the SQL statements that are causing performance problems and apply basic concepts to improve your system’s general performance. Along with this, you will learn to implement and efficiently utilize a performance baseline for proactive maintenance keeping you one step ahead of the game. You will be able to identify commonly occurring poor practices implemented by developers and fix them. Next, you will learn to improve the performance of your troublesome queries when you are unable to change the code. You will master best practices that can be applied to your systems to improve performance on the database and instance settings level. Once you leave this session you will have a framework and tool belt to start performance tuning on Monday!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Steve Wake — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:41:15 GMT

Adam,

Thanks for the post, lots of great points! I have a session that I would love you to review as well if you have a chance.

Title: Capture Change and Apply It with Change Data Capture & SSIS

Level: 200

Summary: Loading and updating data warehouses is a challenge. Auditing changes is a challenge. Change Data Capture (CDC) can help with both and more! Learn what CDC is and how to set it up, then use SSIS 2012 to make it even easier to support going forward.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 03:19:36 GMT

@John:

Nope, not too late. There is no expiration date on this post :-)

Title: Serviceable but rather dull. Is there something you can do to spice it up a bit? "Performance Tuning for the Uninitiated" or something similar would be a much snappier way to say the same thing.

Abstract: I don't know if I like your lead in; it feels a bit wishy-washy. "Yeah, I guess I'm kind of interested in this..." Might try being a bit stronger: "Given its complexity, performance tuning can be tricky to learn; have you ever wished you could get a simplified, distilled vantage point?"

Good list of topics but I'm almost afraid you've got too much there. Sure you can do all of that in a single day, especially at 200 level (where you'd be introducing a number of new concepts, explaining things, etc)? I might recommend trimming and tightening just a bit.

The lead out sentence is a great start but can use just a touch of reworking. I'd personally flip it on its head:

"Back in the office on Monday morning you'll find yourself armed with the knowledge and tools to start performance tuning right away!"

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Adam Machanic — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 03:27:36 GMT

@Steve:

Interesting title! I'm trying to figure out whether "apply" is the right word to use; it doesn't EXACTLY project ETL for me, but it's close. Worth spending a little bit of time thinking about. From a title case perspective, "it" should be all lowercase, and "With" should be uppercase. (Anything with four or more letters.) I'd also swap the & symbol for "and."

The "summary" is really just that -- not quite an abstract. Do you have a fuller version? What kinds of events are you using this for? I'd like to see a bit more of a story and a bit more detail on the technologies, especially since you're targeting level 200. (Example, you mention that CDC can help, but you don't give the reader a brief overview of what it is. A bit of detail can REALLY help capture the attention of your target audience.)

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Steve Wake — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 16:05:04 GMT

Adam,

Thanks for the feedback, my original title was "ABCs of CDC with SSIS 2012" which I thought was clever from a geeky standpoint, but like you say in your post has too many buzz words that won't capture people to come to the session. So I was trying to come up with something that said more what it was about. The other challenge is the word limit for PASS Summit, which is being created for and I only have 1 character left for the Title with their limits.

Below is full abstract that I have currently come up with:

Whether you are trying to setup a new data warehouse, keep it updated, audit changes to your databases or quickly load changes to another database Change Data Capture (CDC) is a solution for all the above and can now be setup and supported easily with SQL Server & SSIS 2012.

Change Data Capture (CDC) has been around since SQL Server 2008, but has been underused because it was difficult to fully implement. SSIS 2012 now provides support for CDC with new components that make consuming the captured data very easy to apply.

This session will define what CDC is and with live demos show how it is setup on your databases. Once it has been setup then you need to consume and apply those changes, this will be demonstrated with live demos using SSIS 2012 to create packages that apply the changes.

Thanks again for taking a look at this!

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Dustin Prescott — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:22:24 GMT

@Adam some great information here already. Thanks for taking the time to help us out!

I've changed this one a bit (http://www.sqlsaturday.com/viewsession.aspx?sat=204&sessionid=13116) but I'm not sure if it's for the better. What do you think?

Title: Hacking SQL Server

The best defense is a good offence. Learn how to practice hacking without going to jail or getting fired. In this presentation we'll be going over how to exploit weak SQL servers with actual tools of the penetration testing trade. You will learn why the SQL Service is a popular target on your network and how to defend against basic attacks.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Tom Norman — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 04:12:28 GMT

Hi Adam, thanks for the original review. Here is the rewrite.

Converting Unreliable Deployments Into Consistent Releases

Level 100/200

Each database is made up of a lot of objects in different environments. When you create an object like a table or stored procedure, you need to get this object deployed into each environment. The deployment process is frustrating; an object is missing or an object is deployed in the wrong order. Together we will discover how to separate each object for proper order deployment while releasing only objects which have changed. Deployments can cause you trouble but we will provide a reliable deployment process.

re: Capturing Attention: Writing Great Session Descriptions

Hossam Alfraih — Sun, 05 May 2013 13:03:24 GMT

Thanks Adam for this great post.

Regards,

Hossam Alfraih ( @SaudiGeekNET )

7 Reasons Why Abstracts Fail | Doug Lane

7 Reasons Why Abstracts Fail | Doug Lane — Thu, 16 May 2013 02:13:07 GMT

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